It's not that I think my life is interesting enough to have people read about what's happening in my life, but they say journaling is a good way of healing. Even though it's been a couple of years since I've had to deal with major turmoil, I still believe that I've got a lot of recovering to do and I'm hoping this will help.
I've always wanted to publish a book about a certain chapter in my life to help others in case they are going through what I did. Looking back on things now, I was so young, so immature and had no idea what-so-ever about what to do. I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy. I titled my blog page "A Gift From God" because now that we are all in recovery, I truly do believe that I was given the situation from God because he believed that I could handle things and in the long run things would pay off.
So...here's my story.
It was the spring of 2004 and I was on a summer volleyball league with some of my best friends. Every Wednesday we headed to a bar before heading to the courts. That's when I saw him. I had been working with him for almost three years at the same company and we talked every once in awhile when he needed something. I had recently learned that he was going through a divorce because he wife had cheated on him and I felt so bad because of all the VP's he was the nicest one. Being the nice person I am, I invited him to stay with us to drink instead of leaving. He couldn't because he had two little girls to pick up. I told him he needed to come out next week and he kept him promise (after I hounded him the rest of next week) Low and behold, the game was canceled due to rain. That doesn't stop our VB team from parting though. We headed to our usual spot and he showed up. I thought maybe then, he had liked me. After a while, my best friend and I were hungry and decided to head to Perkins and invited him along. Once we got there we realized that they didn't serve alcohol, so we headed to what we call our first "connection spot;" Legends Bar and Grill. It was there that my best friend noticed a connection. It was also that evening that he asked me on my first date, to the Iowa State Fair.
Weeks went by and he attended all my volleyball games and for drinks before hand. We had even talked a few times on the phone. I remember the great butterfly feelings and the nervousness I had each time I saw him at work. One Wednesday we snuck away after a few drinks at the game and met at a nearby bar. He shared to me a little bit about his ex-wife and what he had went through as she continued to call him through-out the night. He never answered. It was that night (that we now tease each other for, that one attacked the other ha ha) that he kissed me in the parking lot before leaving. It was love at first kiss after that....well, on my part.
We spent as much time as we could after that. Weekends, week days etc. It was very hard at work because we were trying to keep in a secret, but with all the notes we wrote back and forth I don't think we did a very good job. I thought he was amazing and so wonderful. Little did I now that he had such a dark secret...........
3 comments:
I realize it's cheesy, but I do believe that when a relationship starts off with tough times, it can bring two people closer together. I remember when Dave and Renee first split up, Doug and I were shocked. They always seemed to have it all, so to speak. Doug had always aspired to be like them. He used to say to me in fights, "Why can't you be more like Renee!" Seems ironic now, but at the time it hurt me. But we realized our struggle for everything we had as a couple made is too strong to break up. Two years into our marriage we almost divorced. Working through those tough times made our foundation so strong. The gift from God is that He always knows what's best for us. Doug says so many times how much Dave is in love with you. I see how much he loves you b/c he shows you affection in front of us. I NEVER saw him do that before meeting you. It is such a beautiful thing to see. I think your love for him, and the recovery you both have gone through has helped build a strong foundation.
Why is it everyone says you'll never meet your spouse at a bar? Of all places, I met Doug at a bar. Yeh, that's right. In fact, it couldn't have been more cliche the night we met. How does a city girl from Chicago like me meet a nice guy at "The Twilight Zone" bar in Creston Iowa? I had a college roomate who lived in Corning Iowa. We left Lincoln for a weekend at her house. That Friday night we went to "The Twilight Zone" where she was supposed to be set up with Doug. Well, now who's his wife?! I certainly wouldn't want my kids to pick up people at a bar, but it worked for me. :-)
Thanks for writing this.
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